Title: I know better
Rating: PG (I think)
Length: 1376 words
Summary: written for the prompt “Colby tells Anne that he missed out on the opportunity to be a parent, and have he and David deal with the fallout from that admission.”
Disclaimer: Not mine, never would be, never wanted them to be
Notes: I’m pretty new in writing for this fandom, so please give me a chance to improve myself =)
“I killed her!” Anne Flynn repeated once again “I killed my daughter!”
David could tell that there’s something off with that story, but without proof or without an actual confession, they were at a dead end. So much for a great case. He was just about to knock on the glass, to tell his partner to stop and take a break, when Colby started speaking again. This time there was something different in his voice, something more personal. If he didn’t know better, David would have said Granger was attempting a heart to heart with a kidnaper and a murder suspect.
“You know, I believe you. You killed your daughter. You did.” This time there was an actual surprise on the woman’s face when she heard the agent’s words. She was about to say something, but Colby ignored her “Yeah, you killed your own blood and it must have felt gooood… But here’s the thing-you are not that good of an actress. No matter how screwed up you are, how bad of a person or a parent-you don’t look like someone who just caused her kid’s death.”
“And how do YOU know that?” the mother challenged. The answer she got was nothing like what she expected to hear.
“Because I can see that look in the mirror every time I look at myself”
“WHAT ?!” David wasn’t sure who yelled louder-Anne or himself. All he knew was that he might have to visit his doctor soon, because no chance on earth Colby said what he thought he just said.
“Yeah, I do. It was my senior year in college, I was dating this girl…Lisa…we were just two kids, you know… It was a Friday afternoon; we were driving in my old Chevy…” Colby made a pause and stole a quick look at the window, like he knew that David was behind it, taking in his every word “Just two weeks before that, Lisa told me she was pregnant and I…I was over the rainbow with happiness. I had no job, no money and no planned future, but I knew we would gonna make it-because we had each other and…and I really wanted to have a kid.”
David was standing there speechless. Sure he has heard about that Lisa girl before, but now it turns out she and Colby had a child? How come he never mentioned it?
“So as I said, we were driving and listening to that old Johnny Cash tape over and over again, when… when we got hit by a truck.” Granger was obviously struggling with the words and the memory, but he drew a breath and continued “It was all a blur after that… Smoke, dust, ambulance, hospital… All I really remember is standing next to Lisa’s bed and hearing the doctor saying that she’s going to be fine, but she lost the baby.”
“But you did not cause the crash, did you?” Anne asked “So it was not your fault”
“Yeah, I know that and Lisa knew that, but…”Colby signed “She never forgave me…I don’t think I ever forgave myself. So don’t go telling me you killed your child, because I can see it in your face, it’s not true. I never got a chance to be a dad, but you have your daughter, you can help her and make a difference in her life. Just tell me the truth…”
And she did. After that it all went down pretty quickly-the car chase, the flight, the happy ending of one not so happy story. During all that time, Colby has been quiet, doing his job and being professional, leaving no space to talking. That’s how David found himself two days later, standing in front of his partner’s and as a matter of fact-his lover’s-apartment door, not knowing for the first time if he should knock or just use his key. After a while, he decided to go with the former because he knew Granger well enough to understand when he needed space.
“Hey man, what’s up” Colby greeted him casually, like nothing had happened, which made David wonder if this whole story wasn’t just in his imagination.
“Uh…nothing actually, you just left so soon after we got back, that I…well guess I just wanted to see how you’re doing” David couldn’t believe how awkward it all was “Listen, I want to talk to you about what you said to Anne Flynn in there…”
“David, man, listen, I appreciate the concern and the effort” Colby cut him off “But just…Don’t, OK? You know how it goes-sometimes you have to do what you gotta do to get the truth right?”
“So, what you said-it was a lie?” oh how he hoped it was a lie “Colb, man, please tell me it was a lie”
“I…listen…why don’t you go home? I’ll call you tomorrow, OK?”
“No, it’s not OK, so it was true!” guess he wasn’t lucky after all “Come on, talk to me, I really want to help you and…”
“Help me? You cannot help me, partner. Not this time” David swore he never heard his friend sounding so sad and broken “There are certain things I just have to deal with, certain events, certain choices…Just leave it?”
“OK, I’ll leave it, but…” the realization about what he had to do, hit him, but no matter how hard it was, he had to do it “But I’m leaving too.”
“No, Colby, I mean it-I’m leaving. This thing…us…” David gestured the space between them “It’s not working, no matter how hard we try to pretend, it’ll never work”
“What do you mean?” Granger looked with disbelief at his partner, friend, lover “You’re breaking up with me? Why? Just because I wouldn’t talk to you? Oh man this is rich!” Now he was not only hurt, but angry too “You can leave, but for the record-you suck! I refuse to talk to you once and you go all coward on me! Now that I think about it, you obviously never cared if you cannot stick around through a rough patch…”
“I care, Colby, I DO! That’s why I’m doing this! I’m doing this for you”
“How?! How leaving me when I need you to just be there for me is actually good for me?” It broke David’s heart to see the hurt and anger on Colby’s face, but he knew he’s making the right decision.
“I love you, that’s how!”
“Huh?” If not in this circumstances, this could have been a really funny look “You LOVE me? That’s why you’re breaking up with me? “
“Yes, because…” David took a deep breath “Because when I saw you there, talking about kids and being a dad and missing the chance to have a family… I realized something…I realized that I may not be the driver who caused the car crash, but I’m just as good as preventing you from having all that as he was. I…” he brushed a tear of his cheek and continued “I don’t want to do this. I cannot do this. I love you and I want you to be happy and…”
He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, because he was suddenly interrupted by a warm, eager kiss. He automatically kissed back, but before his brain got a chance to catch up with whatever was happening, Colby stepped back and laughed. Honest to God laughter
“You know, if I didn’t love you so much I would have hit you right now” He stopped laughing and was more like yelling now “Who on Earth gave you the right to decide what’s best for me, huh? You don’t get it, do you?”
“Family, kids, it all sounds great, sure” Colby smiled at him “But I don’t want any of that, if I don’t get to be with the one person I love.”
“And that one person is… Larry Fleinhardt?” David got what he’s friend was saying, but he could never miss a chance to tease
“No you moron, it’s you” Granger laughed and kissed him again “Although I have to admit, there’s something ridiculously hot about a smart, middle aged man, who…auch, stop hitting me…”
“Then stop talking and put your mouth to a better use, partner”